t nig made rivers of er t ran ^y beneat doors, into tcill-room and tries. e o cut s our supper so t Mr ay and C lay doood iles at a backstairs cning. S the sky.

    Pity t sea, she said.

    I  up early to Mauds rooms, and sat in t knoe, t I ood and put o ning flashed again, and she saw me, and jumped.

    Are you here? she said.

    leman. I t, Sell me no sood gazing at me, and  o ood as o

    undress ood in Gentlemans arms, and ttle from o guard it. In ill, but lifted eady drip, drip in one of ttics. Do you er voice: thunder is moving away

    I t of ts, filling er. I t of t sea. I t of t hinking of me.

    thousand pounds! she had said. My crikey!

    Maud lifted  comes, I t.

    But after all, shing.

    opped and till. Maud lay, as pale as milk:  came and s it aside and  eat it. Sly, about not look or act like a lover. I t shough. I supposed her feelings had dazed her.

    Scleman e, as so Mr Lilly, so  made me bilious. But , as usual, to to t a little near it, and gazed at tone. It en. t black birds  us, looking for c  me and  le. She said,

    You are sad, Sue.

    I shook my head.

    I ts my fault. I  you to

    time after time, t you  it is, to o lose it.

    I looked away.

    Its all rig doesnt matter.

    S;

    I t of my mot I  s , Maud said quietly now,

    And  doesnt trouble you, my asking?—her die of?

    I t for a moment. I said at last t s had choked her.

    I really did kno died t ared at me, and put o . t omb.

    ly, if you  pin yourself?

    It seemed an odd sort of question; but, of course, I o s of told her I should feel very ashamed and sad.

    ould you? serest in kno  killed my moto blame for abbed h my own hand!

    Srangely at   tips. I said,

    nonsense. ? t to be sorry.

    No-one made me t, s it myself.

    ts ter. As if a girl could stop herself from being born!

    I . One of tarted up from betones, its ing t sounded like a carpet being snapped out of a urned our o see it fly; and hem.

    I t,  do you o cry for? Youre in love, youre in love. I tried to remind her.

    Mr Rivers, I began. But she name and shivered.

    Look at t he new rain, look!

    S ter anot  ears. I  to ouched her arm.

    Put your cloak about you, I said. No me lift en it, as a c; and I t dra I made umble o ttle c  ing c above it ed ruck t tremble. Our skirts er at tood close to one anotig traig. She said,

    Mr Rivers o marry him, Sue.

    S in a flat voice, like a girl saying a lesson; and ted so o , w heavy as hers. I said,

    Ohing!

    A drop of rain fell between our faces.

    Are you truly? so t on miserably, I am sorry. For I  told  s four years until I am ty-one. o  so long?

    Of course, . I said, carefully, Are you sure, about your uncle?

    S spare me, so long as till, to be read and noted; and tlemans son, but—

    But your uncle  te enough a swell?

    S  if  t go any?

    S o  in earnest.  o see. I said, You mustnt cry. I toucting t. I said, truly, miss, you mustnt cry. Do you to .

    My o  meant to be taken, and touc to keep , for ever!

    Sterly than I had ever heard her speak before. I said,

    Your uncle loves you, Im sure. But Mr Rivers— t caug, and I cougoo.

    You terday, beside t. udio—o take me t as  as  t.  to  for me will kill , Sue?

    Sed. I t, Its not a lie, its not a lie,  it now. I said,

    I kno, miss.

    S t, w can he do?

    ask your uncle.

    !

    t find anot moved  do t. Still not t take . . .?

    Sed o mine and blinked back ears. So left and to rigtle closer. She said, in a whisper:

    Youll tell no-one, Sue?

    tell t, miss?

    Sating. You must promise not to tell. You must s!

    I sime t No  was.

    t. Mr Rivers, sly t go a night.

    At night! I said.

    be privately married.  try to claim me t  t once I am a—a wife.

    of  tone on hers grave. I said,

    You must follow your , miss.

    I am not sure. After all, I am not sure.

    But to love, and to lose range. I said, You love  you?

    Surned a little, and still looked queer, and  anshen she said,

    I dont know.

    Dont kno? Doesnt your blood beat  ouc you s you dream of  night?

    S hings mean I love him?

    Of course!  else could they mean?

    S ansead, s ogetroked t upon erday touched his lips.

    Only noroking t it. S nursing t cer, and rying to rub t away.

    S love  all. She was afraid of him.

    I dreh. She opened her eyes and held my gaze.

    will you do? I said, in a whisper.

    can I do? Ss me. o make me his.

    You might—say no.

    S believe I . I could not believe it, either.

    Say no to c see  all. And t you t ing, t  me  choice have I?

    eady and so bare, I flinc. I did not ans, but turned and gazed do tood against, and ting c  closed, and t kind of lock. t are t keep ts guarded. to crack. Mr Ibbs taug. I closed my eyes and saw o Maud, and said,

    Marry   for your uncles  o like , in time. till t, and do everything he says.

    For a second, sc  t; but it hen her face grew clear. She said,

    I . But, I cant go alone. You mustnt make me go e on my o come h me. Say you will. Say youll come and be my maid, in my new life, in London!

    I said I  Gentleman  I would he carriage she

    would  call me   me a maid of my own.

    For you know I shall be very rich, she said simply, once I am married?

    Sc my arm, and to   mine.  er. I t I did not pull ao try and find out. I did not  o see my face. I t have been awful.

    t afternoon s out s and ing, as usual; but tayed dry. Gentleman came to o ood before o pull o   Maud.  in a quiet, fierce voice, and sated once, t sig t , myself, and even sful. S  me; and  e free, before Sue? Youve told urned to me ure of   o look at anyt her.

    Ao your mistress, be her friend now! If you ever looked kindly on a pair of foolish lovers, look kindly on us!

    me. I gazed hard back.

    So , Mr Rivers—

    O t. Do you mean to slight me?

    Shen.

    ts better.

    ill on ilted upwards. Soucurned hem quickly back. She said,

    Sue  be careful, Richard.

    he smiled and shook his head. he said,

    And you t? epped from  my s my ambition. And at its centre tly, so carefully and  jar, you s knoaken.

    , e o turned ale easier. t, and talked in murmurs.

    And I remembered all s t, t ten it no love him, when hes so handsome and seems so kind?

    I t, Of course sco ouc, ?

    t my gaze and, stupidly, I blusoo. he said,

    You knoies, Sue. Youve a careful eye. e s, in time. But today—le business, t ake you elsewhere?

    ured o the door of Mauds bedroom.

    t for you, he said, if you do.

    I almost stood. I almost . So used , to playing t. te gone from  suppose Margaret or one of to the door?

    ? said Gentleman. And if t ly silent. t me. Be kind, Sue, o lovers. Did you never  of your own?

    I migill . No suddenly,  pretend to be a lord; he

    s. I slept beside er; urn  against ed to, like t! It . It ugged about and made nervous. I t, Damn you, Ill get my t the same!

    So I said, I s leave Miss Lilly.  like it. And if Mrs Stiles o , then I should lose my place.

    me and fro look at me at all; but I knew seful. Sly,

    After all, Ric ask too mucime enougo be toget we?

    t rue. t close before ter a  and se t one anoturbed. I  Maud . And ook  to rembled so  back to all times I cremble before, and  trembling for love. Once tood at ten did, studying ood te, turned. Sepped very sloly, from to to to t, across til so look at my  of velvet, brushed my own.

    You sely, s, not titches were crooked.

    tood and said noto ask me, but dared not. In the end she moved away again.

    And so our trap—t I  so ligo lay—; and ed only time to go quickly by

    and spring it. Gentleman ary until t to stay out ract to t—So t t  to co me, laugain oto leave o—t is, t day of t, instead of taking train for London, , and come back to t t, for me and Maud.  steal  be caug marry  and find ake  all figured out.  fetc, for  it past te- to bring a boat and take o some small out-of-t be known as Mr Lillys niece.

    Noo marry a girl at any c  for fifteen days; but  up, as er Maud ook a  riding off to Maiden a special licence for t meant t o put out t about ty, looking out for t kind of c s age, owo pounds so w h.

    omen like t lemen like  back to Briar t nigo Mauds parlour and sat us doo us in murmurs of all he had done.

    o leave off eating, and  t t ogether.

    three weeks, she said.

    I t I kneo

    make  ing thinking.

    S  them.

    For, so love o like ill s—to face   ouc first  o be slow. o hen, when she grew awkward or confused he would say,

    Oo practise on my love.

    No indeed, s?

    I dont t.

    Not love you?

    You  s. Pero catcheres someone else you care for?

    t o prove t t. Siff, or . Sometimes s  e t did not deserve  ougo give o a better lover; t ing of t. No to be sure  put oo muc. But t kno and came spilling.

    Let  you? I said to o find a book for  you see s care for it, ering ?

    me queerly for a second; t care for it? .

    She is afraid of you.

    S let ty as muc the end.

    it a filthy kind of joke.

    ss from you is to be taken from Briar, I said. For t, shing.

    ts, in t all. take it in ts of t you  s listen  to come and listen ? So your room, tonigake me to co see  beats. You could put back o see.

    I kne I ting back urned away from him. I said,

    You should never find my room.

    I s, all rigtle knife-boy. tle boy, tering moutretc! And   creeping. I  to look. Or, s like to he poem.

    I kne ts arms; and one  a cat being tipped do knoioned now,  knowing made me peevish.

    You leave urned rich.

    O er your spell y? ake so to serving ladies,  y, and Johey could see your blushes now?

    t , I said, firing up. Maybe I do. ?

    God damn it, urn.  did a soft  ever do for a girl like you?   do, for a girl like Dainty? Except, pero to s your qualms? Ss your grip, on tays— on . For Gods sake, look at you! I urned and picked up o fold it.  from my idy?  do you imagine you oo en to me. I knoalk to me as if s Briar for kindness sake—nor as if you came out of sness of temper! Your —as you call it—and er all: ters you art pumping waug.

    Mrs Sucksby taugs of t w you are saying now.

    Mrs Sucksby kept you too close, oo close. t, calling you slooo close, too long. too muc.

    Go and fuck it, I said.

    At t   get up and  me. But , and reaco grip tly,

    Let me see you in your tantrums again and I one. Do you understand me? I o do  you if I must. Sell o tend  o put on your old stuff goo Lant Street hing?

    I said,I sell Mr Lilly!

    Do you to hear you?

    tell Maud.

    Go a tell  it, t I ail , and cloven o act my crimes upon tage. No-one expects to meet a man like me in life,  to believe you. S afford to believe you! For s marry me noay  of ?

    could I say? Sold me  s. So I . But from t point on, I ted   or t of Mauds slippers on tairs, and after a second  t back and  of curtsey.  quickly to o the fire.

    You are cold, he said.

    tood before tel, but I sa t me. teful head.

    Oerribly stern today.

    Maud looked up. s this? she said.

    I shing. he said,

    Poor Sue is easing her, while you were gone.

    teasing her, how? she asked, half-smiling, half-frowning.

    alking of not you! So  . S at all. I told  of gazing at you; sold me to o my room. I said my ears  of your s voice; sed to call for Margaret to bring castor-oil to put in te  s your kisses. Sold me to take it and— he paused.

    And w? said Maud.

    ell, put it in my pocket.

    me, in a doubtful .

    ed  still s your kisses, he said.

    Sated, took  in ouc t t. Not t here.

    urned  and sated again, to it. It covered h, her nose, and half her face.

    my eye, and nodded. I turned a look at him.

    For , damn  about Maud—for I kne, le and ,  about me. o t to make Mrs Sucksbys fortune. o o Mr Ibbs—and to Jo, let slip thousand pounds, because—

    Because ? tain standing. I er of a murderess. I ations. Fine feelings  in they be?

    And t all up— save Maud? Say I  leman  in a mad say muco her chances.

    But  oo pure, too simple. So be spoiled.

    Besides, nobodys co do badly, did t mean I must?

    I didnt t did. So though, as I have said, I was sorry for her,

    I  quite sorry enougo  to try and save  of telling rutleman as t all, t  and keep us from our fortune. I let   le. I cry to make ime t  to take rick ccc s of  be anyone but  leman any man but t marry; and I ed it, but turned a, It cant be , Its their business.

    But, ried to give up to myself, So you, tried to pluck t of my , tayed t or e I urned to  over my ears to keep out  in to   o be able to feel gold. It  my kno pulled me to  was like—

    Its like you love .

    It made a c made me nervous and afraid. I t s me and see it—or Gentleman , or Mrs Stiles. I imagined  getting back to Lant Street, reac of Jo of   done anyt. It  I t of  I felt o me, ockings: to keep  of  like to fold t. ook to going about t as I  day at Briar—

    and looking at all taken up and toucure.  t. ould to dress o stand and, close to tudy my face as Id seen udying hers.

    ten days to go, I o myself. ten days, and you will be rich!

    But Id say it, and across t come t o t being so mucs end, trap t little bit closer and tig o prise apart.

    Of course, s too. It made o s—made , lie in iffly, more neatly, more like a little clock, for safetys sake; or else, to keep time from running on too fast. Id cake ea—pick up , put it do up and sip again, like a macitco turn my gaze. Id time I  back ted tootongue. It  I could not imagine, noting a finger to  being ordinary . . .

    So dream again. So . Once or tirring; and so my side and lay and simes s me, times sions. Am I real? Do you see me? Am I real?

    Go back to sleep, I said, one nig he end.

    Im afraid to, she said. Oh, Sue, Im afraid . . .

    ime,  at all t soft and clear, and so un . ttle rus t s lit must  its sself out. tains   of t struck my mouth.

    quot; is it? I said.

    She said, I dreamed— I dreamed I was married

    I turned my  my ear. too loud, it seemed, in the silence. I moved my head again. I said,

    ell, you shall be married, soon, for real.

    Shall I?

    You know you so sleep.

    But, s. I felt ill but very stiff. I felt ting of . At last she said again, in a whisper: Sue—

    is it, miss?

    S hink me good? she said.

    S, as a c. turned again, and peered into to try and make out her face.

    Good, miss? I said, as I squinted.

    You do, she said unhappily.

    Of course!

    I wis. I wis. I wish— I wish I was wise.

    I  I did not say it.  I said  you  hose books of your uncles?

    S ans  beat  it lurc . then she spoke.

    Sue, sell me—

    tell me trut s to say; and my o like o s. I t, S t, thank God!

    But it  t. It  t, at all. Sh

    again, and again I felt o ask some a it , I t last, t from her.

    I  is a  do, on !

    I oo. It oo dark to see.

    I said, Dont you know?

    I knohing.

    But you dont know w?

    how should I?

    But truly, miss: you mean, you dont know?

    you see, dont you see? I am too ignorant even to kno is I am ignorant of! S eady. I t, unnatural voice, I t?

    Again, I felt  the word, kiss. Again, I blushed.

    ill he? she said.

    Yes, miss.

    I felt h?

    On your mouth, I should say.

    On my mouted o  last, teness of er t ougo   burned out. I ime I ever did—t t. Only t have shrunk, or fallen away.

    else, s me to do?

    I t, Say it quick. Quick . Quick and plain. But it h her.

    , I said, after a moment, to embrace you.

    ill. I t. She said,

    You mean, to stand h me in his arms?

    S, and I pictured  once, in Gentlemans grip. I saanding—as you do see men and girls, sometimes, at nig urn your eyes. I tried to turn my eyes, no, of course, could not, for to turn to, t, brigern slides.

    I greful way,

    to stand. Its rougand. You only stand o lie in or must be quick. A gentleman would embrace .

    A bed, shis?

    Pero so shape, when youve finished!

    I laug t too loud. Maud flinco frown.

    Finis? she embrace?

    Finis, I said.

    But do you mean, the embrace?

    Finis. I turned, turned again.  is! ?—Finis. Can I be plainer?

    I talk instead of beds, of feat are to me? You talk of it. s it?

    It is  is tual tarts you off. t comes over you, like—like ing to dance, to a time, to music. have you never—?

    Never w?

    Never mind, I said. I still moved, restlessly. You must not mind. It will be easy. Like dancing is.

    But dancing is not easy, s be taugo dance. You taught me.

    t.

    ?

    ts of o dance. You can only do to you, when once you have begun.

    I felt  t o me. I dont t kisses can start me off. Mr Riverss kisses never ain necessary muscle or nerve—?

    I said, For Gods sake, miss. Are you a girl, or a surgeon? Of course your moutight, like a spring. I rose from my pillow. here are your lips? I said.

    My lips? sone of surprise. they are here.

    I found them, and kissed her.

    I kne all rigy  like kissing  aste,  first. t moved against mine. t opened. I felt ongue. I felt —

    I , only to s I lay , starting up in me, everytart in leman kissed  made me giddy. It made me blus  made me drunk. I dre, from hers. I said, in a whisper,

    Do you feel it?

    to my tongue. S ansill I t suddenly,  if Ive put rance? Say s?  ever ell her uncle—?

    ted a little. And then she spoke.

    I feel it, srange as mine. You . Its sucing thing. I never—

    It s Mr Rivers, I said.

    Does it?

    I t must.

    I dont kno know.

    S sed again, and t brougo me. o mine. It  . She said again, Im afraid.

    Dont be frig once. For I kne snt be t. Say s so frightened she cried off marrying him?

    ts . I t I must so do it, or . So, I kissed oucouc ting of our mout t  corners of our lips—touco   and s of turning solid and growing quick, under my hand.

    So sill afraid. to soo. I forgot to tleman, after t. I t only of  ears, I kissed them away.

    You pearl, I said. So we she was! You pearl, you pearl, you pearl.

    It o say, in t o do. But next morning I rips of grey ligains of t I , My God. Maud lay, still sleeping, ogetoo, and I brougo touc. took t smelt of  of t  . Being fetc. Did cell you it comes on you like a sneeze; but a sneeze is noto it, not all—

    I s tip of one finger to my tongue. It tasted sharp—like vinegar, like blood.

    Like money.

    I gre. I got up, not looking

    at  to my room. I began to feel ill. Perer  seemed to sting. I ed. I  sloo o fasten trings of dress. I ied t.

    I sa, and my insides s wed o mine, I looked away.

    I looked ao  speak. Sc t s came, er: I stood pulling clot at t. Maud kept to  left. I put out a goticoats and s out er.

    ill you come, I said, so I may dress you?

    Sood, and slooo hard.

    I covered it up. S opped me. S  ress, after all! But, so tood  dorembling of my fingers against  say. Only w finis co search for words. She said,

    a t I?

    You did, I said. My voice was shaking. No dreams.

    No dreams, s t  one. I t, Sue

    S ing. I sa in . Mine beat to matc, my very  turned in my

    breast; and I t if I o me t back; and everyt   knoo keep e. e miged Gentleman. I migo Lant Street—

    But if I did t, s for t of telling rutrembled  do it. Soo simple. Soo good. If tain upon —! But t crimson bruise. A single kiss . he Borough?

    And t my side?

    I  of Mrs Sucksby. Maud c t pin to  of velvet. I swallowed, and said,

    In your dream? I dont t me. I sepped to tte almost smoked already. You will miss !

    e  day. e  . So take my arm, and I dreting do ty place beside her and said,

    ts are gro you tter on your own . . .?

    I  back to my narros ss like pieces of pastry. I urning, and sig; and I turned, and sig t t ugging, tugging at my —so   me. A imes I almost rose, almost  in to imes I t, Go to ing? Go back to  every time, I t of  lie beside  ing to touc

    ing to kiss   ing to save her.

    So, I did not nigoo, and t after t; and soon, ts: time, t , t oo late to ching.