thURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
Invasion fever is mounting daily t try. If you ions, t laug all t may all be for nothing!
tatements as: quot;In t of a Britis to defend try, even flooding it, if necessary.quot; tential flood areas marked. Since large portions of Amsterdam ion reets rose to above our s. tricky question elicited a variety of responses:
quot;Itll be impossible to er.”
quot;Dont be silly. ell o try and s on our bats and caps and ser as much as we can, so nobody can see were Jews.”
quot;O imagine ts biting their legs!”
(t was a man, of course; well see w!)
quot;e even be able to leave table itll collapse if theres a flood.”
quot;Listen, everyone, all joking aside, ry and get a boat.”
quot;ter idea. e can eacake a packing crate from ttic and roh a wooden spoon.”
quot;Im going to ilts. I used to be a w;
quot;Jan Gies need to. ilts.”
So no you, Kit? ted banter is all very amusing, but reality ion about to arise: erdam?
quot;Leave ty along hers. Disguise ourselves as well as we can.”
quot;ever go outside! t to do is to stay put! tire population of o Germany, wheyll all die.”
quot;Of course ay place.
ell try to talk Kleiman and o coming o live s ask Miep and Kleiman to bring some blankets, just in case. And ra cereal grains to supplement ty-five pounds o find some more beans. At t about sixty-five pounds of beans and ten pounds of split peas. And dont forget ty cans of vegetables.”
quot; about t, Motest figures. , quot;ten cans of fisy cans of milk, ty pounds of potles of oil, four crocks of butter, four jars of meat, tray jars of tomatoes, ten pounds of oatmeal, nine pounds of rice.
ts it.”
Our provisions are fairly o feed taff, ock every s not as muc seems.
e oo.
quot;Lets all make little moneybags to ake our money o leave here.”
quot;e can make lists of o take first in case , and pack our knapsacks in advance.quot;
quot;ime comes, t, one in t at t of the back.”
quot;s t any er, gas or electricity?”
quot;ell o cook on tove. Filter ter and boil it. e ser. e can also store er in ttles ub.”
quot;Besides, ill ter potatoes in toreroom.”
All day long ts all I invasion. Arguments about going inguisity cards, poison gas, etc., etc. Not exactly cheerful.
A good example of t ingent is tion h Jan:
Annex: quot;ere afraid t , take tire population hem.”
Jan: quot;ts impossible. t got enougrains.”
Annex: quot;trains? Do you really t civilians on trains? Absolutely not.
Everyone ; (Or, as Dussel alolorum.)
Jan: quot;I cant believe t. Youre al reason o round up all take them along?”
Annex: quot;Dont you remember Goebbels saying t if to go, to all territories behem?”
Jan: quot;t of things.”
Annex: quot;Do you too noble or o do it? th us.”
Jan: quot;You can say dont believe Annex: quot;Its alory. No one s to see til its
staring the face.”
Jan: quot;But you dont kno making an assumption.”
Annex: quot;Because all ourselves, First in Germany and t do you thinks happening in Russia?”
Jan: quot;You s include t ts going on in Russia. tising for propaganda purposes, just like the Germans.”
Annex: quot;Absolutely not. told trutly exaggerated, ts are bad enoug deny t millions of peace-loving citizens in Poland and Russia have been murdered or gassed.”
Ill spare you t of our conversations. Im very calm and take no notice of all t me, and I cant do anyto cs any let matters take trate on studying and everyt in the end.
Yours, Anne
tUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1944
Dear Kitty,
I cant tell you e Im longing for peace and quiet, and t for a little fun. eve forgotten o laug stop.
t;t;; you knoo school.
Margot and I eenagers.
Last nig ucking around out of bed and carefully examined t.
do you tc and forgotten to take it out. Fat about er to tease ;Du bist doce Rabenmutter.quot; [Oh, you are cruel.]
Of course, s, and old tely assumed iest expression and said, quot;Youre a fine one to talk. ire floor is covered t lying around again. You never put t aher!”
I said I used it, and Margot backed me up, since sy party.
Mot on talking about il I got fed up and said, ratly, quot;I even tting blamed for otakes!”
Mot, and less te later I o kiss .
t may not ant, but ts on my nerves.
Anne Mary Frank
SAtURDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
t breeze, and Im longing -- really longing -- for everytion, freedom, friends, being alone. I long. . . to cry! I feel as if I to explode. I kno cry. Im restless. I o anot beating as if to say, quot;Fulfill my longing at last. . .”
I t in my entire body and soul. I o force myself to act normally. Im in a state of utter confusion, dont knoo read, o e, o do. I only kno Im longing for something. . .
Yours, Anne
186 ANNE FRANK
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
A lot urday. s his: I was longing for
sometill am), but. . . a small, a very small, part of the problem has been resolved.
On Sunday morning I noticed, to my great joy (Ill be Peter kept looking at me. Not in t kno explain it, but I suddenly as in love as I used to tried not to look at oo muc me and t made me feel s not a feeling I soo often.
Sunday evening everyone, except Pim and me, ered around tening to t;Immortal Music of ters.quot; Dussel kept ting and turning ter, and too. After restraining er asked someably if op fiddling iest tone, quot;Ic; [Ill decide t.] Peter got angry and made an insolent remark. Mr. van Daan sided o back do .
t particularly interesting in and of itself, but Peter ly taken tter very muco , because te of books in ttic, Peter came up and began telling me it, but Peter soon realized tentive listener and started o .
quot;ell, its like t; ;I dont usually talk muc be tongue-tied. I start stuttering and blus my op, because I cant find t s to say sometirely different, but once I started, I got all mixed up. Its ao , and sometimes I wisill did:
tead of arguing get me anyly to say and arent in t bit shy.”
quot;O t,quot; I replied. quot;Most of very differently from talk too mucoo long, and ts just as bad.”
quot;Maybe, but you age t no one can see youre embarrassed. You dont bluso pieces.quot;
I couldnt ly amused at ed o go on talking quietly about er, sat doly.
Im glad to the same rages as I do.
Peter seemed relieved t icize Dussel being afraid Id tell. As for me, I oo, because I sensed a strong feeling of fellowsh my girlfriends.
Yours, Anne
tUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1944
to blame. Monday evening Dussel came in to see Motold riumply t Peter morning if
aken it to . So everYt as rain again. Motory on to me, and I ly amazed t Peter, rary.
I couldnt refrain from sounding Peter out on t, and antly replied t Dussel ers face. I wish Id had a camera.
Indignation, rage, indecision, agitation and much more crossed his face in rapid succession.
t evening Mr. van Daan and Peter really told Dussel off. But it couldnt bad, since Peter al appointment today.
Actually, ted to speak to eacher again.
EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1944
Peter and I talked to eac for a fe oo cold to go up to ttic, and any s birt ty o look at ts and ting longer trictly necessary, somet I got my cernoon. Since I felt like spoiling Margot on to get ter t tatoes. o Peters room, ely took airs, and I asked if I srapdoor
to ttic.
quot;Sure,quot; ;go ao come back do knock and Ill open it for you.”
I t upstairs and spent at least ten minutes searc potatoes. My back started actic was cold.
Naturally, I didnt boto knock but opened trap-door myself. But up and took t of my hands.
quot;I did my best, but I couldnt find any smaller ones.”
quot;Did you look in the big barrel?”
quot;Yes, Ive been them all.”
By time I ttom of tairs, and atoes ill ;O t; ook t;My compliments!”
As ender look t I started gloell ed to please me, but since make a long complimentary speecood eful. It still makes me o to t look!
doairs, Motatoes, time for dinner, so I volunteered to go back up. ered Peters room, I apologized for disturbing airs, ood up, over to stand betairs and tried to stop me.
quot;Ill go,quot; ;I o go upstairs anyway.”
I replied t it really necessary, t I didnt o get only time. Convinced, go of my arm. On my ook tanding by t; are you working on?”
quot;Frenc; he replied.
I asked if I could take a look at to was down across from he divan.
After Id explained some Frenco o talk. old me t after ted to go to tc Indies and live on a rubber plantation. alked about and like a hless bum.
I told y complex. alked about t Russia and England o go to eac the Jews.
ian or could become one after ted to be baptized, but t o feel like a Cian, but t after t a momentary pang. Its sucill oucy in him.
Peter added, quot;the chosen people!”
I ans;Just thing good!”
But on cting very pleasantly, about Fat judging er and all sorts of t I cant even remember them all.
I left at a quarter past five, because Bep had arrived.
t evening alking about ture of a movie star Id once given least a year and a so muc I offered to give him a few more.
quot;No,quot; ;Id rat. I look at it every day, and t have become my friends.”
I noer understanding of oo. I forgot to mention sometalking about.
;No, Im not afraid, except o t myself, but Im .”
Peter y complex. For example, upid and . imes. One of to say, quot;O it out! Youre mucter at English and geography!”
Anne Frank
thURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1944
Dear Kitty,
I airs tories. I began ;Evas Dream,quot; ;t Annex,quot; cer also listened for a part) and asked if Id come to ime to read more.
I decided I o take a c t my notebook and let bit God. I cant really tell made on quite remember, not about about t. I told ed o see t I didnt e only amusing t thing more!
Yours, Anne
Frank
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
airs, its al;; No I o look foro, my life ly.
At least t of my friends o be afraid of rivals (except for Margot). Dont t, but I do sometiful is going to develop beter and me, a kind of friendsrust. I go see ts not t used to be, o make of me. On trary, ill talking a like me going upstairs. Ser and t I should leave him alone.
ly, cant s me uition? S me so oddly ers room. hen I come down again, she asks me where Ive been.
Its terrible, but Im beginning to e her!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
SAtURDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
Its Saturday again, and t sell you enoug. I spent nearly an airs making meatballs, but I only spoke to quot;; in passing.
upstairs at ty to eitake a nap, I doairs, and all, to sit at te. Before long I couldnt take it anymore. I put my out. tears streamed doely un; o comfort me.
It four by time I upstairs again. At five oclock I set off to get some potatoes, , but to see Boche.
I ed to upstairs suddenly I felt tears coming again. I raced doairs to t toilet, fully dressed, long after I ears leaving dark spots on t utterly dejected.
;Oer t even like me and need anyone to confide in.
Maybe of o being alone, anyone to confide in and Peter, or anyto look foro. O my feel so ed! care for me at all and looks at tender ing, I be able to bear it.”
A little later I felt ation again, tears ill flohe inside.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1944
of t on t clotrolling in the laundry.
Eig of us prefer to sleep in,
Dussel gets up at eigo tairs, to tes a wo washing himself.
Nine-ty. toves are lit, t screen is taken do Dussels back range, but a praying Dussel is a terrible sigo bes not t s sentimental, not at all, but er of an ire fifteen minutes -- rocking from oes to goes on forever, and if I dont s my eyes tigarts to spin.
ten-fifteen. tle; ters, t sleepy faces are beginning to emerge from t, fast, fast. Margot and I take turns doing ts quite cold doairs, on pants and or I urn in t eleven, and then were all clean.
Eleven-ty. Breakfast. I dalk about food my bringing t up as well.
teen. e eace s do. Mr. Dussel makes tling to as tic as ss on and disappears into ter and Mouschi. Mrs.
van D. dons a long apron, a black and oversy laundry and, airs. Margot and I do traighe room.
EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23,1944
My dearest Kitty,
terday, and Ive perked up quite a bit. My ing, t to ttic almost every morning to get tale air out of my lungs. t ter ing on
my favorite spot on t at tnut tree glistening ing ranced t speak. ood a t. e breatside and bot t t be broken ime o go to t to c boy. o t, and I folloeen minutes say a canding, and could see to c I also looked out tting my eyes roam over a large part of Amsterdam, over tops and on to trip of blue so pale it invisible.
quot;As long as ts,quot; I t, quot;t, how can I be sad?”
t remedy for tened, lonely or uno go outside, some everyt s God s people to be ures beauty and simplicity.
As long as ts, and t s tever tances. I firmly believe t nature can bring comfort to all who suffer.
O be long before I can she same as I do.
Yours, Anne
P.S. ts: to Peter.
eve been missing out on so mucime. I miss it just as muc talking about external t sense; I mean ternal t I ted for the inside, I mean.
tting in front of taking a long, deep look outside at God and nature, I kind of ure, h and much more
besides, to recapture t happiness.
Ricige, everyt. But t can only be dimmed; it o make you happy again.
ry going to t on a beautiful day and looking outside. Not at tops, but at t t youre pure hin and will find happiness once more.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
From early in to late at nig Peter. I fall asleep ill looking at me.
I rong feeling t Peter and I arent really as different as er nor I oo superficial, likes to flirt and doesnt concern goes on in akes an active interest in my life, but act, sensitivity or motanding.
Boter and I are struggling feelings. ere still unsure of ourselves and are too vulnerable, emotionally, to be dealt to run outside or ead, I bang ts and pans, splaser and am generally noisy, so t everyone ion is to s tle, sit quietly and daydream, all true self.
But her?
I dont knoo keep trol.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
Its like a nig goes on long after Im a be let tice, and I o pretend to be c is aching.
Peter Scer van Daan ed into one Peter, ing, and Margots t, since sakes advantage of my smiling face to claim me for is to be left alone.
Peter didnt join me in ttic, but up to t to do some carpentry work.
At every rasp and bang, anotance a clock olling Be pure in , be pure in mind!”
Im sentimental, I kno and foolis too.
Oh, help me!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank